H EW possibly DBing and I’m losing the battle

[KangaB]

Thanks DnJ for your encouragement and advice,

I’m trying to distance myself from H. For instance, we didn’t see each other in our normal weekly time frame this week just gone. LAT 3 nights a week, 4 nights together. He did see XW during the time we were supposed to be together as she was picking up something from his place for SD (??) I didn’t bring this up with him. I’m sure it is just EA at the moment. I know she is trying for something more, she is trying to flirt and be suggestive in front of him. Seen this now a few times recently.

Anyhow… my questions is: How do I distance from H when we are going to be spending the next 5 days together? Would you be able to give me examples? We spend exclusive time together because we are too far apart to drive home from one another’s place of an evening. We also work together.

At the moment, I don’t make a lot of eye contact with him and I’m standing straighter with an ‘air’ of holding back/slightly aloof, yet, friendly. So hard to juggle this. I’m being more independent in his company, and also saying to him, I’m just going to have some quiet time. All 180s for me. The last time I did this, H reacted and was upset with me as a collective of things that I did. I reflected back and I realised I made a mistake in my behaviour. This time together, I’m going to try and keep doing independent things. It’s really hard because we love spending time together and working on our stuff. It’s the time that we really relax into our M and have a lot of fun. Our sex life has always been pretty good and I don’t want to let that drop. How do I DB with that?

Is DR available to read online as I have been reading DB? I started reading the first chapter of DR here and got disheartened as it mentions that it’s never too late when you are divorced. I got really scared because I just thought of XW still trying after all these years with my H.

What do I do when she is doing something like DBing to ruin my marriage? It feels like a battle of DBing.

I’m trying to drop the rope.