Originally Posted by Sunflyer
Nobody is a failure who makes a positive impact on another's life.


You really put this perfectly Sun and it is so true. It’s funny about 2 years ago H wrote me the most beautiful letter for my bday praising me, telling me how his life is amazing because of me and he wouldn’t have done half the things or seeing half the places in this world if it wasn’t for me, and how I was his soulmate and he will love me forever.
He too was an introvert, me an extrovert I planned all the holidays and he would always say how amazing they were and loved my determination and drive and how I pushed him outside his comfort zone ( now throws that in my face that I “spent too much money” )

I know I made his life absolutely amazing. Far better than the bland life he would have led without me ( I just have to look at the simplicity of his family to understand the path he would have followed of work work work pay of mortgage and retire and eat biscuits all day)

It amazes me how one person can completely flip mindsets in the space of 18 months. The alien that stole my husband is one evil person.

At the moment I am struggling within myself and hating myself A LOT for my infidelity 9 years ago. I do understand it was a symptom of an underlying issue that takes two, but the fact he has that now to throw in my face is really causing me alot of grief. My dear friend said that even if I had not done that he would have found something else now to blame on me and I suppose that’s quite right. It really is just difficult to re-live my trauma. I feel like he is now punishing me twofold because he always felt he “ let me off the hook”. That’s my biggest hurdle at the moment and the cause of a lot of my grief. I am grieving hard and he walks around without a care in the world or an ounce of emotion. I know I shouldn’t let his issues destroy me and I am not but it’s just that feeling in my heart like it physically hurts

I too am finding this is the absolute worst pain I have ever experienced, but am keeping it strong for the kids, because I am their pillar and have to show them their bad-ass mum is their absolute inspiration in this life.

I’ve been doing quite alot of self care, working, seeing friends over the coming days, walking, meditating some nights when I can’t sleep, having long baths, reading reading reading ( lots on mlc etc)
I feel so guilty and like a DB failure ( which I need to admit to you guys here) because I still have hope our paths will cross again and we can have a fresh start in a fresh marriage as two new people. I still have hope in years to come he may just re-align with me and I know that goes against everything in this 🫣😭

Last edited by DnJ; 07/14/23 01:48 AM. Reason: Corrected typo.
M:41 H:48
T:20. M:16.5
BD: 15/12/22 -moved out 17/3/2023