My Story (2)

[Sunflyer]

So we are at the point where W wants to tell the boys. S13 will be out until this evening, so she wants to take the opportunity to tell S17 first, possibly since the two of them may react differently.

She brought up the "Daddy and I have decided..." or "Daddy and I are going to..." options, and I said I did not favor that, as this was her decision, not mine.

It looks like we are going to basically say, "We are separating" and handle their questions from there.

She brought up the letter I received from her lawyer on Friday. She said she was unaware that it would say, "Have your lawyer contact us within five business days." She thought it was going to say something along the lines of, "We are your wife's firm. Please call us." She seemed disappointed that I took money from our account to retain a lawyer.

She wants to handle this out of court, which I agree with, but she also wants to do it with only one lawyer--hers. I told her that my rights must be protected.

We briefly got onto the subject of therapists/counseling. She mentioned her ongoing therapy but did not go into details. I stated that I was dealing with a therapist online (true; I am not referring to this site). I said the perspective I had received was that in issues of disconnection such as we have experienced, divorce should not be the default option. There are other ways out that are better. She replied, "I understand" but did not go further than that.

There were other things on my mind, and she could tell. I was thinking about why I wanted to save our marriage, and making clear that my reasons are based on my ideals. They are not based on fear of the legal aspects of this. And I was thinking about the possibility of OM in the picture but thought bringing those things up now would not be productive.