I’m still so lost -Pt 2

[Pattnee5]

Thanks Kind, I know it’s all very tough at times. I have been working with a therapist and also did a bit of intuitive counselling/healing too which I found grounded me a bit, meditating helps but I still have my bad days. I def know my current relationship or getting back into it is NOT good or Healthy anymore for me or the kids. I def don’t want to re enter it in its current state and do this all over again in a few years time.
I’ve just had a bit of a low mood day I think. Lots of self care, long walk, cooked dinner for the kids had a bath and feel so much calmer now.even spoke to a lawyer and again H and I discussed a few financials and how to structure it until he knows if he is leaving for a bit. He’s all for being completely fair, getting everything legally done and documented and ensuring kids needs are number 1. Felt calm, fine, indifferent really. Other days I would look at him dying to touch him or flirt or anything. This time I just felt so empty.Didn’t long to be his wife or touch him, kinda just look at him now and feel really indifferent. Good thing where we are from you can’t get a D until you have legally separated 12 months so there’s zero talk of D, more about splitting financials assets assessing living situations in an actual agreement.
I am normally an impatient person and super organised and need things done yesterday, so you can only imagine how testing this has all been too.