Thanks for posting… I absolutely agree. There were so many things that I was doing for H which he could do for himself. I’m easing out of enabling him in other ways. I can’t think right now what they are. However, I really believe that at times and not deliberately that I have emasculated H and somehow I’ve been put in this role by him because he was used to it. His XW was the breadwinner in their marriage and he gave up his career to raising the Skids and I have seen firsthand H being emasculated by her.
I have on my list of goals that when finances improve, I will ease out of this role. A role that I eased into because I was doing the W budget. I want him to step up with his finances because I know he will feel in control and feel better about himself. I love H being the man in our marriage and taking care of me—not financially; but, doing manly things and encouraging chivalry, which he is great at when he is in the M. We both love our Traditional roles.
Today has not been a good day nor yesterday. Awful weekend followed by a previous awful weekend. I was doing well last week. I’ve fell into a slump and I’m thinking that it’s because I’m finally unleashing all of it here.
I’m reading back and I’m so angry with XW, I know I want to just unleash on her. I know I need to draw the focus back on myself. I can’t help it. I also tend to see H as a victim which is really dangerous. I’m so threatened by XW!
Much appreciated.
Me 49 H 61 T 8yrs M 1.5yrs LAT H filed for D from XW ‘18, granted ‘19 We M ‘22 H in EA with XW (lying about contact, evidence of Affair contact) BD Aug ‘23
