I’m still so lost -Pt 2

[Sunflyer]

Is my goal to reconcile? Well ultimately yes but not in this current environment. Not stepping back into the same marriage with the same mistakes and complacencies setting in and this happening again in the future. I wanted a new beginning, to shelve the old marriage and the last 20 years, and start a new book together for our next 20 years of mid to later life.

This is key, and it is what we all want. Remember what Kind18 told you: he, not just you, made mistakes. He, not just you, produced this current situation. You have shown great character by admitting your mistakes and wanting to repair things. He is lagging behind you right now, by a good distance.

Equally important, you recognize that even if you reconcile, this has to be marriage 2.0. If he has things he won't accept in the future, then you sure as heck will have your list of what you won't accept from him.

And you would not present that to him angrily; you would present it lovingly but firmly. You would do this because you have learned that you are important, and you are worth something.