I’m still so lost -Pt 2

[DnJ]

It will be nice now not being around to blame I wonder whose fault it’s going to be in 6 months time when his issues still cloud him

That’s exactly it.

H looks around realizes Patt hasn’t been around, yet he still feels unhappy. Then maybe he thinks, hmmmm perhaps she wasn’t the cause or to blame. And maybe he looks inward and starts doing the work he needs to do.

That awakening will take as long as it takes. Some awaken rather quickly, some take years and years, and some stay lost for the remainder of their lives. He is on his sad path on his timeline.

When one is depressed they live in the past. Anxious you’re living in the future. At peace, one is living in the present.

MLCers are big time depressed. They remember, they live, those old past times. You can see this as H keeps bringing up stuff from a decade ago to throw at you. They presently have the memory of a gnat for appointments and responsibilities, yet have a steel trap for any faltering you do. It’s par for the course. He needs to burn his way through all that.

I can now see how whatever I do is irrelevant

Nothing you do matters, and yet everything does.

And like all the advice, it’s more for you. H, the marriage, are a bonus; you are the primary goal. For in saving oneself, you have the best chance at saving your marriage.

D