My Story (2)

[Ready2Change]

One of her core complaints that led to our breakdown was, "You don't seem to want to talk to me" or "Our conversations are too superficial." Wondering if the current state of affairs might just look like more of the same.

DBing rule = "Do what works". You job is to find out what that means in your sitch.

So I had "superficial" conversations with my X. After BD, I learned many new ways of interacting with women.

If you go to a coffee shop and pay attention to two women having a conversation, one is talking and the other is listening. They are creating a deep connection (not superficial). Most women naturally do the "emotional validation". I don't think many guys "get it". What type of emotional states has your W been through in the last week?

With the limited info I know:

H:"W, I bet your are sad your parents had to leave."

or

H:"W, You look sad now that your parents are gone."

or

H:"W, you looked like you were happy your parents were here."

or

H:"W, your mom looked relieved that your surgery went well."
......


Test the waters. See how she responds.

Look up "feelings wheel". Add as many of the feelings to your library of words to draw from.


More risky Ideas:
H:"W, I am disappointed on myself for raising my voice with your mom." Then STFU and listen to W.