Had his head on the table. I felt so sorry for him😞 he complained I smothered him ( and I corrected him and told him I didn’t smother him I showered him with love when he needed it most)
Bad response: I didn’t smother you, I was showering you with love when you needed it most.
Bad response (but truthful): Until you get your mental health sorted out with professional intervention, you’ll remain incapable of accepting love from anyone 🙄
Best DB response: Sounds like you felt a bit trapped by my affection, and maybe you didn’t know how to tell me. Anyway, I’m going out to a bar. *Walks out of the door in sexy clothes and new perfume*.
I think Pattnee, one of the things you need to work on most, is stopping feeling sorry for him. I know you love him and want to protect/look after him during this time, but it possibly makes you come across as needy and unattractive. When he has his head down on the table, validate and then leave. Don’t let your heart break for him, because then that will translate into gushing and bad DB responses.
You can feel sad for him when you’re alone, or when you talk to your friends/family/IC.
Around him, you need to be strong and unwavering. Validate, then leave.
You didn’t break him, so you can’t fix him. He needs to walk this road himself.
When my marriage was breaking up, at one point she asked why I was still there supporting her when she was being a complete b***h to me. I responded that I’d made my vows, I loved her and wasn’t going to abandon her in her worst time. Good response, yes? ABSOLUTELY NOT! She looked like she was going to physically vomit when I said that. She had complete disdain for my weakness. Six months later when she got dumped by AP and I served her with divorce papers, she told me “you must have never loved me” 😂😂😂
Keep working on your strength around him with your IC. Don’t be a love sick puppy running around under his feet waiting for him to fall back into your arms, that’s just going to annoy him and make reconciliation less likely. Be attractive, be fun, be missing.
