You really cannot control what someone else does or says. Also, you are putting the horse before the cart a little bit. I suspect Dad’s past behaviour does indicate what he is more likely to do. However…
Originally Posted by Terapin
there's no telling what he'll say to her.
He may say nothing. He may remain cordial. Or he may give her a piece of his mind.
I’d not alert W. Firstly, there are many possibilities of what he might say. You likely have some idea of the higher probability of what may go down, yet that doesn’t mean it is certain, doesn’t negate other possible outcomes. Secondly, W is a big girl. She can deal with other people’s interactions with her. Besides, she fired you as husband.
What you’re worrying about hasn’t happened. Most things we worry and fret over, never come to pass. And worrying seldom stops something from happening. Well, seldom stops whatever we are worrying about from happening; worrying does stop/detract us from doing other things with our limited and valuable time.
Originally Posted by Terapin
I've tried telling him that everyone needs to be amicable, at least until the D is finalized. And even beyond, for son's sake. I just don't know if he's going to comply.
Perhaps, talk to him, instead of telling him. Let Dad vent. Discuss the pending divorce, away from W and son. Being heard, getting it out on the table, usually releases the pressure and the unwanted barrage doesn’t spill out later.
I’d suspect you want Grandpa and those in your and son’s life to be authentic. To live what they think and feel and believe. Not to merely comply; rather to understand and seek the better path. Grandpa would literally do anything for son, so discuss with him. He might just surprise you. And he might be further ahead than you realize.
Amicable. Cordial. Polite. Straightforward. Authentic. And not fake. The usual old school tenets.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
