W just said she wants to tell our son tomorrow. This pisses me off to no end, as it's 4th of July weekend, his birthday next Thursday, and surgery the following week. Just another example of how insensitive and selfish she really is. I told her this is like the worst time to tell him, but she said "maybe, but we need to get this done asap." Then she went on to say stuff like how it probably won't bother him at all, how we couldn't possibly wait till after his surgery cause we need to get the house on the market, and how we both need to be 'united and upbeat' about talking to him. lol.
I already know her 'plan'. She's going to make it seem like this is a mutual decision that not only her and I, but all are friends and family are happy about. She better pray he doesn't start asking questions to me like 'daddy, why don't you want to be with me all the time?', 'dad, why do you want to leave mom and break up our family?'.
One of the harder things in this process to do.
If I were in your shoes, I would say this to her: "I believe you should wait until after S12's surgery to tell him you are done being married."
Then all the emotional validation: "I am sure waiting is frustrating" or "You look like you are getting angry." etc
If she wants to argue or debate: "I have made my wishes clear."
The less talking you do the better.
I would make it clear that she is to do most of the talking. You should also ask her what she will say.
Typically it doesn't go exactly as planned.
Get some statements clarified in your head that you may need to say to S12 when he asks questions. I statements like : "I want mom to be happy" etc.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
