My Story

[DnJ]

Good Morning SF

Heed Kind’s wise words. Definitely, give yourself 48 hours to settle before doing or saying something. Actions taken, decisions made, based upon emotions lead to regret.

As I suspected, W did not keep confidence of our situation from my sister at S17's graduation party. Furthermore, she seems to have framed the narrative so that my sister sympathizes with her in leaving the M.

She seems to be selling the story that I am repeating the parenting mistakes of my father, and her parents believe it.

"I do everything," she said. She apparently told my sister, "I have tried and tried."

These folks become master manipulators. Easily twisting their reality. Crafting their narrative to fit their wanted view. They will draw family members and friends into their world with these spun tales. They will promise to you - example not to tell your sister, and then do the opposite.

W is projecting upon you. She is blaming you. In fact, she’s likely the one repeating the ingrained parenting mistakes. All this, to further her feelings of justification for what she is choosing and doing/did.

Seriously, I feel like I am living in crazy town.

Yep. It’s a wild ride these folks are on. If we LBS stay on the rollercoaster we just get dizzy and nauseous! Step off the coaster, give her to God, let her traverse her wild ride, and look away from the train wreck.

I am working early and staying at the office afterward to avoid dealing with her. Today she asked me when I would be home, and I said I am not sure. I am staying at the office and trying to maximize time away from the house because it's just not healthy there right now.

It is really difficult to find one’s footing on how to “deal with” their errant spouse. SF, avoiding and ignoring are ok for short term strategies. Long term, you staying/hiding out at the office is equally unhealthy. Treat her as a roommate. Focus on you. Live (and love) your life.

D