My "Manifesto"

[Sunflyer]

Part II:

4. Related to #3, I have learned that I am good in bed. I know this not because my ego is large, but because my lover told me so. I have learned that telling someone you want to go to bed with them purely for lustful reasons is fine, even if you are married to them. Someone who recognizes the joy of sex doesn’t object to being told this; they welcome it. I am also a considerate lover who puts high importance on making sure that the woman I am with receives any pleasure she wants. Her pleasure is just as important as mine. I regularly ask my lover what I can do for her, and if she wants me to [use your imagination] all she has to do is say so, and I will. As far as I am concerned, I exist to make both of us feel good. I am good at sex and willing to become better. I am worthy of a lover who wants this. I am worthy of a lover, period.

5. I will only bear my portion of the responsibility for mistakes made in a relationship. It takes two people to make a relationship fall apart. If my partner feels unhappy with her life, or doesn’t know what she wants from life, and that is affecting the relationship, that is not my problem, and I will not bear any guilt for it. Why? Happiness and unhappiness do not come from, and are not caused by, external things or other people. They come from within. We choose happiness or unhappiness. If someone else (including my lover) chooses to be unhappy, I can’t control that. I can control my own happiness only, and I am absolutely worthy of happiness.

6. I no longer believe love is an emotion; it is a choice. Some people believe that love goes away as people change over time. The only way it “goes away” is when we stop doing loving things. If we have stopped, but then start doing loving things again (the things we used to do that brought us together), love will return. Someone said marriage is falling in love with the same person over and over again. There is truth in that. We can choose love like we choose happiness. If my partner decides that she doesn’t want to do loving things with me anymore, then I am worthy of someone else, who will.

7. I am an intellectual, introverted guy who walks the straight and narrow (mostly lol). I don’t drink, smoke, abuse drugs, or indulge in similar behaviors that might abuse my body. I work hard and provide well for myself and my other financial responsibilities. These are not liabilities or the characteristics of a “boring, uninteresting guy”; they are virtues. And a woman who values me will not think that I am unworthy of knowing because of them.

8. I am a “catch.” I am a prize for someone, the right someone. I should stop myself when I am tempted to think otherwise.