My "Manifesto"

[Sunflyer]

Part I:

I have thought about what my marriage has taught me. It has taught me about mistakes I have made. It has also taught me that there are things I will and will not accept in a relationship going forward. Here are the things I have learned:

1. There is no substitute for constant affirmation of someone’s importance. Women especially require that they be told frequently how beautiful, special, and desirable they are. I will do that much more in a future relationship.

2. Some small time for togetherness must be scheduled each week. It doesn’t have to be a dinner date; it can be a walk in the park or watching the sun set. The many commitments that press on our time must yield somewhere. In my life, my relationship will come first, and I expect my woman to view it the same way. Any money- or profit-making ventures are secondary. Of course, I will support anything she wants to do, but time for us has to be there each week. It was a mistake not to schedule this in the past. Any future relationship I find myself in must make time for this each week. I am worth it.

3. Physical intimacy is important to me. That does not just mean sex. It means touching, holding, caressing. And trying to fit in sex on vacations, etc., doesn’t always work when there are lots of other things planned, or when kids are involved. Any future relationship I find myself in must make periodic time for overnights or weekends devoted to nothing but physical intimacy. No visiting tourist sites, no planning anything except for meals. When no meal is scheduled, we are in the bed, no clothes on, doing something that makes us feel good and close. Touching, talking dirty, [censored], sleeping in each other’s arms, whatever. This has to take place at least a few times a year. Not negotiable, and I am worth it.