Check in - D & I are at the end if a fabulous week away to a luxury hotel in Dubai. I have never felt so pampered & have thoroughly enjoyed my time away. Had intended on going to the hotel gym (even bought new trainers) but we have just chilled in the sun and eaten good food. Its been bliss until yesterday! I have no contact with H, which is to my benefit in terms of detaching. However D has been getting increasing number of texts whilst we are away. She said they are asking about me, our hols, reminiscing, telling her to tell me about memories. I figure this is all anchor checking & D has responded really well by just acknowledging what he asks bit not really answering. My S has been looking after our pet & he went on his own holiday yesterday & H was popping in for 3 days am & pm to feed the cat. He did this once before at the beginning and it was OK. Not this time!!
Looking at the video doorbell, H appears to have stayed at our house all yesterday & overnight. He was in and out of his car taking things in & taking things out. I've no idea what some were but he definitely had change if clothes, shower toiletries & his washing!!! He has not asked if he can do this & I felt very annoyed last night that he can presume free use of the house. He no longer pays towards our mortgage but legally is still able to do this as he's joint owner. He has phoned in work sick with anxiety & depression (he does this when faced with his actions and cannot bury his head in the sand).
Question - What is this all about? Is it anchor checking? Part of depression? Wanting to stamp his rights on the house? I've not been in touch so theoretically he doesn't know I'm aware he's there. Logically, he knows we have a video doorbell and I have access to it. Feels like he's baiting me? How should I respond? D's prom is this week & I don't want to cause upset before the prom. Should I just ignore it & get the locks changed & not have him pet sit in the future? Should I confront him & lay my boundaries down? Any advice?
