Don’t be in a rush to make any big decisions or snap at her.
If you need some space, make some space while you breathe.
Perhaps some IC would get to the bottom of what’s troubling you?
My guess is that you desperately wanted this marriage saved and would have done anything to make it so. But now things have been on the improve, you’re having trouble falling back into the arms of someone who treated you so badly. It’s why a lot of those here that have made it to reconciliation and piecing are quick to warn it’s no picnic, and sometimes takes many years for feelings to return.
This person hurt you. The stomped on your heart and showed no care or concern when you were absolutely broken. But now she expects to just fall back into your arms? How can you trust someone who proved themselves and their vows to be so untrustworthy?
They’re all completely reasonable questions for you to be asking, so don’t feel bad. There’s no fairy tale ending after bomb day, even if you reconcile. Perhaps the heart pounding at night and fear of coming home to her is because you feel trapped? You’re getting what you always craved - but now it’s not the same as before and you feel stuck?
Thanks for sharing your feelings with the site and trusting us.
Just breathe, stay calm, try some mindfulness - and seek out some IC.
