Been a bit so I thought I would check in. Things had been going well. W has been super attentive, almost as if it's her way of making up for all this. Problem is, suddenly I'm feeling very distant towards her. I sometimes don't want to be around her. Just spent 3 days away from home with d13 at a softball tournament. Didn't really want to talk to W when she would call and didn't have that old feeling like I used to when returning home from a trip. I sometimes feel anxious when she gets home and when we go to bed at night. Last night was the worst. I was laying in bed feeling like my heart was about to beat out of my chest. I don't like feeling this way. It makes me wonder if I'm on the verge of my own bd. It's definitely not what I want. I honestly don't know what to do about it.
