So this puts me back to advocating her moving out, if she really wants separation, while continuing to stall her D proceedings.
In the majority of cases, kicking them out is actually the fastest route to a reconciliation. A WAS/WS has to walk a journey of pain to realise that you aren’t the reason for their unhappiness. You can accelerate them on that journey by giving them what they want.
But I wouldn’t advocate “stalling” the divorce. Just don’t accelerate it. She wants the divorce, she can do the work. If you deliberately stall it, all she sees is a man who is prolonging her pain. She’ll continue to build resentment against you, and reconciliation will be less likely.
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Her reasoning is that she doesn't want an acrimonious, lengthy court battle. Wants to basically self-mediate. Says it would be so much easier for her to make the break if I was a jerk rather than the good person I am.
You are definitely going to get a better deal in the early stages, and without lawyer involvement. I get that you aren’t ready for this, but the longer you hold out, the more likely she will want more, become more acrimonious and get lawyers involved.
The problem with lawyers is that they get paid the most when it gets drawn out for a long time, so they’ll encourage you two to fight and argue to line their own pockets.
If a wayward gives an offer early on, they’re likely in a hurry because they want to start their new relationship ASAP. And that’s likely the best offer you’re going to get. No matter how much you don’t want a divorce, if she’s wanting to mediate a solution ASAP and outside lawyers and the court system, you’d be well advised to consider accepting it.
