My Story

[Sunflyer]

W asked me yesterday if I had thought more about what she proposed. I said I was still processing. It is obvious she wants to move the divorce forward.

When she asks again, I will make it clear that if she wants to separate that I will not be moving out as long as D is not final. She can move out, and I will help her do it.

I have, however, been mulling whether or not to suggest a trial separation. This would require her to "put down the weapon" for a while, so to speak. My feeling is that she would not go for that.

Assuming the latter, then I am inclined to simply let things go forward while I work on preparing for a fulfilling life without her, and see if she awakens at some point.

She really seems confused. Frankly, sometimes I feel more sorry for her than myself. Still does not know if D will fix her unhappiness. Still doesn't know what she wants out of life. Started crying the other day and let an "I love you" slip, the first one I've heard in a long while.

I found some old emails from her; one was written when we were making up after some fight. It was almost shocking to read the words she wrote compared to what she says and feels now. I feel like I'm living in the movie "Invasion of the Body Snatchers," where people are replaced by alien duplicates, and their friends, husbands, wives, etc. just know that these aren't the people they've known for years.