We should all strive to make changes for ourselves to improve our lives post-BD. And each of us should have made the necessary changes years before BD. But if we had made the changes things "might have" been way different in our marriages. Or they might not. However, that doesn't matter now. Everyone needs to make changes so that their lives improve. If you put in the work, you will be happier a couple of years from now. I am doing much better now than I was the day before BD.
The part that R2C wrote that I would read over is: "Your post is focused on the wrong person."
