It may feel good to come out swinging at her regarding the finances, however keep your attention to the end goal in all of this. So yes, her savings for a lawyer, her drinking and other disposable income usage, best to leave it alone for now. Simply inquire as to the breakdown of expenses. Rent/mortgage, electricity, insurances (vehicle/house/other), property taxes (if applicable), loans, child costs (clothes, food, school, etc), groceries if still purchasing as a family, and so on. Get records/proof if amounts seem overinflated.
W did suggest this meeting. She mentioned a shortfall if she were to hold back 20% of her funds. Let her lead and present her data. Your estimates figure that 80% is sufficient for the joint expenses. Let the bills/numbers tell the tale.
Of course, expenses is only half of the equation. Income is the other. I believe W makes more than you, although I think you said it is reasonable close. If so, just sum the joint expenses, cut the total in half, and get agreement that that is the amount each of you is required to deposit. Notwithstanding unexpected breakdowns and other unforeseen one time expenses.
Originally Posted by Terapin
Naturally I get a text from W saying that 'it's fine for me to do that, even though that's not what we agreed to do.
Did you previously agree to something? It seems W is under the impression you two did. If you did, I suspect the expenses and incomes were not clearly spelt out.
Basically, stay business-like and calm. Do the math and see what the split is.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
