My Story

[Ready2Change]

But in my opinion it's a lot easier to attract a new person than it is to rekindle attraction with someone you've been with for a long time.

For most of us I believe that is true. For other posters, I have seen the spouse respond positively. Coach and PuppyDogTails stand out. They both did a great job and making significant changes quickly.

You say you behave different with your new lady. Do you think when you were BD'd, if you acted like you do now, your ex would have regained attraction to you?

Maybe if I would have changed a few years before the bomb drop.

Just wondering your thoughts about how difficult it is to regain attraction from someone that knows you better than anyone else.

I just know people here have done it. Each of us have different sitch, but a lot of similar behaviors got us to the BD.

Like, if I used techniques from Neil Straus, Mystery, David Deangelo, etc on a stranger, I'd probably have success.

Yes, much easier on a stranger. Having a long term relationship is the challenge.

If I did them on my W, she'd probably laugh in my face.

I see it more as indirect attraction. Social proof. In my case, I interacted with my X more like I would with my guy friends if that makes sense. With my current partner, I treat her different. I am more protective, romantic, leading..more masculine behaviors...etc.

I realize this isn't exactly what you're talking about, but if you could go back in time w/ your ex, how would your behavior change knowing what you know now, and do you think it would work?

If I went back far enough, I am sure we could have addressed the issues. I am sure she would have been open to it.

I would have been more protective of the relationship. OM is spending more time with W was a big red flag that I was ignorant of. Not having date night. The list goes on and on.