My W is essentially giving up a loving, faithful husband, half the time with her son, a quarter million dollar home, future safety and security, family, friends, etc, etc, all to see what's behind 'door #3'. And worse, she's made this decision all on her own. Never once talked to me about what she was thinking. That's what hurts the most I think, but that's what also turns my thoughts from sadness to anger to 'whatever'.
Hey Terapin:
I am sorry, and I feel for you. I am going though a very similar situation. I see your W had some kind of EA in the past. I haven't confirmed anything like that yet, but honestly the paragraph above reads almost like you read my mind. The only difference between the assessment of your situation and mine is my W doesn't plan on giving up the home, whose value is on the order of half a million dollars. Her plan is to "buy me out" (which actually means asking her parents to buy me out, since unless she has a buried treasure somewhere, she can afford no such thing).
She went from saying "I don't know what I want" to "I want out" in one conversation. She said I am a hard worker, good provider, good person, etc., but she feels neglected.
We've invested 23 years in the M and almost 26 in the R. Her summary is that we "didn't have a bad marriage." Our marriage included countless family gatherings, both with us alone and her family, vacations near and far, the births of two beautiful sons, lots of good sex, and on and on. And after all this, she says, "Eh, it wasn't bad."
I certainly played my part in this. I got wrapped up in other things. So did she, for that matter. My position is that this can be turned around, with counseling, frank discussions, and reorganized priorities. She doesn't have any interest in this. She is full speed ahead to door #3.
Me 59 W 47 T 26 M 23 S18, S14 BD May 2023 D filed June 2023 OM1 confirmed: December 2023 OM2 confirmed: October 2023
