We do tend to take things for granted. A good portion of DBing is becoming the best version of yourself. Looking at your deeds, actions, beliefs; and making changes for the better. A better husband, Dad, son, brother, friend, coworker, a better person.
You make a promise to yourself, from this day forward…
Originally Posted by mrorange
I have rewired my entire life in hopes of improving our relationship. I’ve stopped smoking, and drinking. Gone to counseling. (Which seems to have made things worse)
Any changes you make need to be permanent. And they need to be for you. Things you want to change to the better. That is the only way such changes will become permanent, they become part of you.
W knows you. And she will doubt the sincerity of your changes. She will be wary of the new and improved you. She will sense deep changes vs changes to fix a relationship. Especially when she’s looking to leave the relationship.
Stop pleading and begging. Stop mopping around. Start acting as if. Be positive. Be attractive. In time the “acting as if” becomes being. You are no longer acting, you are being.
W has years of built up resentment to get through, and needs to believe in your new self. This is going to take time. Focus on you. Give her time.
To that end, no more relationship talks. You’ve told W you don’t want a divorce. And that you want to fix things. Now live it.
There are no quick fixes. No magic words or silver bullet. It took time to get here, and it will take time to unravel and build new.
You do have the gift of time. Use it wisely.
mro, I understand the sorrow and hurt. Acknowledge it. Learn from it.
Keep moving forward. The past is immutable. The future unwritten. You can act in only this present moment. You will only fail your children, your life, if you allow it.
Stand up, dust yourself off, and move forward. It starts with a single small step. From there, each small step cumulating into your grand journey.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
