Hello everyone, I’ll just try to sum things up quickly here…
My wife asked for a separation 6 months ago. ILYBNILWY Financially we cannot live separately, so for a short time we slept in separate beds. I’ve been reading these forums for many months, and I was not surprised when I found evidence of an affair on her phone. It was extremely emotional for both of us when I found out.
So after I discovered this I asked her to stop communicating with this man and please try to work on our marriage. She has agreed. Saying that when the affair happened, she regarded our marriage as over. But now wants to work on it. I’m definitely suspicious that it took my catching her for her to decide she wants to work on us.
We have 2 young children, and both of us want to remain together for them. My wife displays many MLC traits. And a recent prescription for ADD medication has sent her deep into MLC behavior. Her drinking has become excessive, and life in general seems to be only about her right now.She used to be very selfless and nurturing. Her mood with our children has deteriorated as well. She is very stern with them now. It’s gotten better since I discovered the affair, but still present.
Our sex life has gone from minimal. (Before the discovery) To daily. (After discovering) Back to non existent. (Presently)
I’ve got a vague idea of what DB is but I’m so hurt and confused. I’m beginning to physically deteriorate. It’s quite literally killing me. I can feel it…
Why is she suddenly wanting to now work on our marriage? After I caught her? Why are we basically not separated now that I’ve discovered? We sleep in same bed. Kiss, hug. No sex right now, but we’ve had more sex recently in general. Before catching her. I have rewired my entire life in hopes of improving our relationship. I’ve stopped smoking, and drinking. Gone to counseling. (Which seems to have made things worse) The therapist told her about CoDependency, and that set us back months.
Im in pain. Everyday for 6 months has been a struggle. Some days are better than others, but it’s ever present… The infidelity, the drinking, the eye twitching. She is so angry sometimes. It’s frightening honestly. Please help.
I just feel like everything I’ve worked so hard for. My family, my career, my home…. None of it exists anymore. I’m absolutely devastated, and it’s been dragging on 6 months now.
