Dropping back in to say hi. I’m doing well. Took a spontaneous trip out of the country. S is staying with W. She has been sending me a few photos and also sent me a text as I was at the airport before departure wishing me a relaxing, restful time and thanking me for being a great dad.
Took a trip out of the country, yet your update is about how your wife wished you well and you’re a great dad. It’s truly awe inspiring how much you ignore advise. Speaking of ignoring, how about answering ready2change
Me: 40 EX:37 Together 17 years Married 16 years 5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11
Had a really great time being away. Just being me, enjoying sun and sand, good food, exercise, relaxation and making some new friends. Also good to be home again.
This trip was significant for me in another way. I confronted some things in myself to go away and let go. I have my important resources and support network and I have significant roles and responsibilities, duty and emotional connections here at home. And I left. I went away on my own. Took a break for me. Responsibly. With integrity. And I feel really good about that.
In therapy upon my return, we discussed how my default action when I’m anxious and encountering fears or trauma triggers is to go To the fire, to get activated and sometimes to do to much for others. In this case, I faced a lot of anxiety and dealt with PTSD symptoms and took a good break. It was such a joy. I did well.
Last edited by Rockon; 06/09/2303:44 PM. Reason: Elaborate
“ For me, A lot of the "hard" questions were the ones that came from me, and directed toward myself.”
I’ve been having a lot of self reflection and am starting to quiet my mind more to process what I’m going through, what my emotions are telling me and who I am and what God is bringing me through. This is helping me to be more honest about myself..
The anger is settling and not driving me now like it did for awhile. It comes up, I recognize it, I acknowledge it, “I’m angry about that. That is wrong. That hurt me. I’m still healing from that.” Maybe some choice words to myself and an increased pace in my walk or run or intensity of that exercise set or riff on my guitar. And then I move through it (for now) and onto what I want to be doing. The sadness episodes can take a bit longer at times with some deep sobs and tears and pain.
But that thread about the stages of the LBS help me to see what others have gone through and to be patient with myself that I’m going THROUGH this stuff too on my timeline and in my way.
Last edited by Rockon; 06/10/2302:44 PM. Reason: Add link
Home emotional connections for me are people (close family members) I care about who are going though stuff. And I feel our interconnected bonds that have a lot of personal meaning for me.
Going out socially on my own 3 nights in a row this weekend. Fun community, good food, social connections and some dancing. Last night as I was going out and said good night to son, he was on a call with his mom on speaker phone. She said, “Are you going swing dancing (I didn’t)?” I said, “Might try that out,” and said, “See ya,” and went out for a great evening.
