I agree with R2C. There is no trust or loyalty or dignity when it comes to financial and custodial arrangements. That’s why people on this site say you need to treat it like a business deal.
It’s also why they say to trust none of what they say. You need to prioritise getting her committed to the 50/50 custody. I’d email something like “Thank you for the discussion yesterday, and I accept and support your desire to have 50/50 care. This is a big weight off my shoulders. What are your thoughts on how we split the time equally?”
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She has told several people that I've been in 'denial' about this whole sitch, and I'm not 'accepting' what is happening. lol. Self centered to the extreme.
To play devil’s advocate… I think she’s correct 🤷♂️
That’s why all of us end up here - because we value marriage and want to save it. If you weren’t in denial and had accepted she was leaving, you wouldn’t have ended up at this site in the first place.
I understand the sentiment, and yes WAS/WS are very often self-centred. But don’t succumb to confirmation bias, where you look under every rock to confirm what you want to hear.
You can respond emotionally when she says you have been in denial, and call her a “self-centred” so-and-so, or you can just accept that she can have whatever opinion she likes. If my ex wife told people I was in denial, I’d revel in that - knowing that my character and loyalty is being proven in my attempts to save the marriage.
Things are about to get worse before they get better. Protect yourself, be smart, avoid interactions - and never respond to anything through emotion or quickly. If you’re home alone with her tonight and she says some dumba** WAW/WW stuff, like “things will be better for son once we split and are happy” don’t even give it the time of day.
You need to get a thicker skin, and always obey the 24 hour rule.
