Wanting divorce is not why any of us arrive at this site. But sometimes, it gives closure to have it done.
Your different interpretation of why things were better last few weeks is interesting. A LBS will see better interactions and return to how it used to be (fun, happiness, less arguing) as a sign things are getting better. But she was happier because she convinced herself you were on board with divorce and so the pressure was off her.
The more I study this and read, the more I realise this is a constant theme. The rubbish behaviour of waywards/walkaways is because they carry guilt over the their behaviour and breaking vows.
It’s why you should never try to interpret what they are thinking or doing. It makes zero sense and is a ticket to the crazy house. All that a walkaway/wayward wants is for people to tell them what they’re doing is okay. If they don’t get that - they respond with anger, bullying, threats and even violence. It’s a sad insight into the human mind.
Keep your chin up. Remember that you’ve passed the worst of it. Life will only get better from here.
One day, you too will realise that actually deserve someone who values and loves you as much as you do them.
