Thanks DnJ, Steve & Pattnee, particularly for the virtual hugs, its been a hard few days.
The overwhelming feelings have passed and I feel back on an even (ish) keel. I'm pleased I didn't act on the urges. It wouldn't have helped me & I'm not sure what I was hoping to achieve from it anyway. Actions like these probably just stoke the fire.
I'm trying to remember that I am in the better position. I've got the kids, the house, lots of friends & family. He has cut off from everyone & only has OW. I'm not sure why that's important to me? If I'm completely honest with myself, maybe that's about wanting him to suffer as I am? Definitely not properly detaching there & I need to have a think about that.
I am much better at not being as bothered about OW. I used to compare myself negatively but don't now. I can see they are two lost souls trying to make a connection that isn't based in the real world. I feel I'm rambling a bit. I think there is some point to what I'm trying to say. I think its that I'm only superficially detached. Does this get better? Is it a time thing or should I be doing more? I genuinely thing my GAL activity is going well. I've not seen mum & dad since Easter & mum commented that I looked less tortured in the face than last time she saw me. Both said how proud they were of how I'm handling it. Any thoughts on anything I could be doing differently? Even though I've been horrendously sad at times this weekend, I've still got out there & acted as if I wasn't sad.
