Finding the rollercoaster pretty hard to ride this weekend. It was my birthday yesterday & I spent most of it in tears because H didn't send me a happy birthday message. I've been much better at dropping the rope but for some reason, this just hooked me right back in. I really wanted to message him to let him know how hurtful it was but managed to stop myself from pressing send but the emotions are strong despite the GAL activity.
On a positive note, I've been truly blessed with family & friends and spent my actual birthday night with best friends. My kids secretly arranged for mum & dad to come and visit today and stay overnight & we're going for a meal later.
I just feel so sad and tearful. We've been no contact at all for a few weeks now & whilst that helps on one level, I also worry that I will just drift completely from him. Just struggling a bit and feeling a bit lost at sea.
