LBSs tend to say too much. It's a common trap. Remember, less is more. Treat him like the cashier at the store. Listen. Respond. But do not over share. Do not be the one that fired the most talking.
These are wise words. I abbreviate this as STFU.
Originally Posted by SteveLW
You interact with him way too much....It's hard to be missed when you're always around him.
Most of us are the target of blame for our spouses unhappiness. One thing that we desire is for the spouse to realize they are blaming the wrong person. Give them the gift of space to realize this.
Originally Posted by SteveLW
It's okay for him to get upset. It's okay for him to get angry. It's okay for him to storm out. It all goes back to "you cannot nice him back to the marriage". Another thing to remember. Anger. Sadness.. Even hatred on his part are all good things. It means he still cares.
This is where our empathy and validations of other peoples emotional states comes in. I can be completely content while listening to others "vent". I can let them know I can relate to there emotional state by "validation" statements. "You sound angry." or "I bet that made you angry" etc. I really like the four agreements. It definitely helps me separate my emotions from others.
Keep adding tools to you tool box.
You got this.
HUGS
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
