I’m still so lost

[Pattnee5]

Uh, you didn't jinx anything. Pattnee when you stand up for yourself often times the WAS gets angry. I'm going to ask you to do judging yourself based on his reaction.

It's okay for him to get upset. It's okay for him to get angry. It's okay for him to storm out. It all goes back to "you cannot nice him back to the marriage".

Now, I would have liked for you to stop after "“ I have apologised profusely for my wrongdoings and I can’t keep apologising anymore.". LBSs tend to say too much. It's a common trap. Remember, less is more. Treat him like the cashier at the store. Listen. Respond. But do not over share. Do not be the one that fired the most talking.

I'm glad you stated to him you're done apologizing. Now, live up to that statement. Starting by NOT apologizing for the exchange!

Another thing to remember. Anger. Sadness.. Even hatred on his part are all good things. It means he still cares. Probably despite not wanting to care. Those things are not nearly as bad as apathy. Of you said that above and he had blown it completely off that would have been a worse sign than him getting up and storming off.

One last thing, you interact with him way too much. You're pretty much healed up now right? Why is he still over and around so much. It's hard to be missed when you're always around him.

Hi Steve
Thankyou for responding. I always love your pearls of wisdom.okay got it I said too much I should have stopped. You are right there.
I didn’t even think about it like that. All those emotions anger sadness meaning he cares. I know he cares by his actions and always wanting to be around and hugging etc so I guess you are right there too.I didn’t think of it like that. And I keep reminding myself of the good exchanges and positive signs and know there is always going to be a bad exchange too. I know he isn’t ready to face emotions or anything it’s blatantly obvious and maybe I just challenged him and said something he didn’t want to hear I am unsure really. He is trying to really curb the drinking and he has mentioned it’s like an emotional fog lifting as you cut out the alcohol. I guess it was easier to walk away this evening than go down a hole of emotions.Everything is a guessing game when they don’t open up but I am no longer trying to over think his thoughts his feelings etc

I guess in regard to our interactions and how much he’s around I guess I
Am just trying to walk beside him and let him take the lead for now and he had offered to cook while I was at work. Generally he was happy when I arrived and made some funny comments and we had a laugh but it soured quick so I am unsure if something else had happened in his day that he was masking.

Anyway lesson learnt I guess. Try and get some space. I know I didn’t say anything bad. I guess they blow when they don’t like what they hear.