I’m still so lost

[Pattnee5]

It really is a very surreal situation to be in. It still feels like such a dream and I can’t actually believe this has even happened. I keep thinking it’s a nightmare I will wake up from eventually. What crazy fool walks away without even wanting to attempt to repair 20+ years. And 20 years of an amazing loving relationship all bar a bit of a rough trot the last 18 months or so. However we were never w serious massive fighting couple never held grudges never went to bed angry. Always so loving and fun. It is like someone flicked a switch in my H about a year back and made him enter this world of some sort of MLC state. I am actually getting sick of him constantly saying “ I’m so old, I hate my belly, I can’t wait to retire or when the kids move out and we have no expenses” I mean seriously buddy grow up and be an adult. You still have 20+ years of work in you.
I’ve stopped responding to this now. I used to always say “ you’re not old you’re being silly” now I’m just exhausted by saying it and knowing it means nothing because he keeps saying it. “ I’m so old I’m so old” Big Whoop you finally needed glasses 🙄 I was wearing glasses from the age of 3🤷🏼‍♀️!
Anyway I realise I have tried to validate that “old”statement so much these days I am sick of hearing it. I figure now I’ll try and just ignore the comments all together. Until he gets a grip on himself and gets over his whole “im getting old and my body isn’t like it was” mentality then nothing will fix him. It’s like his ego is clouding everything.
Anyway just me venting. Makes me realise how we are both on very different levels right now in our lives. I am all about fun and living life to its fullest and enjoying the moment and working hard to create an amazing life, he just wants to work and whinge about his Grey hairs 😁
( can you tell I just re-read the MLC chapter on DR) while I don’t think it’s a full blown crisis it’s def some sort of whacked out version