How do I give her as much space as possible and honor her as our kids mom? I really want to get out of the way for her to choose and be who she needs to be.
It’s not your job to facilitate the relationship between Mom and the kids. It’s your job to just not destroy it.
This is the first Mother’s Day since BD for all of you. To get out of the way, you step aside, you get out of the way. With adult children, Mother’s Day is between them and her.
You don’t plan or initiate a family meal or picnic, and no cards or flowers. She’s not your Mom. And she’s not even participating in a relationship with you. Just let the day pass by.
If the kids seek some guidance, you can gentle steer. This is an opportunity to honour her as the kids’ Mom. You do so by supporting the kids, not demonizing their Mom, and recalling the awesome Mom she was, and perhaps sometimes still is.
Originally Posted by Rockon
Our kids are really struggling with my Wayward Wife’s (WW) abrupt change in behaviour, attitude and treatment of me.
However, your kids may still be struggling and upset with Mom’s behaviour. Let them forge their path forward on how they interact with Mom. And support their decisions. You most certainly do not want to get caught up within forcing a get together.
I, and my family, had likewise traditions - birthdays, Christmas, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and so forth. The kids and I didn’t lose them. We did modify them. And yes, it sure does feels bad for the first go around. The counterintuitive path. Seek and follow the rational and let the feelings flit.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
