Cadet- Thankyou very much, yes I am treading carefully and I am making changes for me and to become a better person. I am actually loving the person I now am and feel so much calmer and relaxed and fun than I have in a very long time. 180 almost seems to rejuvenated me immensely.

D- wow what can I say. Always so full of wisdom and wise words. Yes correct H is not seeing or involved with anyone. He has mentioned that multiple times and I fully trust him. (Yes I understand that alot of LBs have been like me only to discover something ) but I have full trust in him for now until something says otherwise.The fact he currently lives with my family members too helps. We had been intimate coninouslu after BD in Dec but I now see that was a desperate me trying to do anything to save everything. Since he moved out we had been intimate once or twice but moreso because I didn’t want to throw myself at him. And now as I read more about the cake eating I felt I didn’t like him having all the benefits of his old life and just reside elsewhere at night and sleep. So I guess I took away the cake and certainly stopped initiation.
He did make a comment out of the blue a week or so ago that he doesn’t want our intimacy to just be about the act and does want all the deeper feelings he once had again before being intimate again. I guess he doesn’t want to feel so messed up in his own head first.
I really don’t understand why some men are so completely stubborn to talking about their emotions and feeling and having IC. In the past he saw an IC and said it was amazing and loved it, but now he’s so resistant

The clingy boomerang I like it.I just feel like he isn’t done yet with our M but also isn’t ready in his own head to return and give it a cracking shot at repair.

For me I am ok with just
Going with the flow, following his lead with as little or as much as he needs right now, I certainly do know there will be setbacks and some big tests too. Such as my reactions when his stress levels boil over and how I handle myself.(complete 180 to how I would have)
I am certainly giving H all the space in the world that he requires when he requires it and honestly am prepared for anything now. Much more prepared than I have ever been

Thankyou for letting me vent. It is helping me so much to be able to come on here and share my thoughts and get some opinions

M:41 H:48
T:20. M:16.5
BD: 15/12/22 -moved out 17/3/2023