So just to clarify you were doing the opposite for the last 4 years? So you were bombed 5 years ago and managed to save your marriage and then apparently immediately when back to your old ways? Am I understanding that correctly? Do you understand why your Stbxw said what she said?
Talk about a 2x4...
It's not like those 180s I mentioned never happened during the last 5 years. I tried to do most of those things, but I admit things have backslid over the last 7 or 8 months. Obviously when things were 'good', i wasn't going to go out without telling her where I was going, not reply to calls/texts, etc. So I guess if I were to be honest, true 180s now would be to initiate deep conversations, tell her exactly how I feel about things, plan more date nights, etc. You know, all the things that you're not supposed to do at this point.
Again, 5 years ago we started MC, and were going every week for about a year and a half. W denies it, but we were making very good progress. Hell we went from the brink of D and her having 0 feelings for me, to taking trips, talking, having sex, etc. Then covid hit. Our MC appointments stopped, and we've both fallen back into bad habits. For me, not communicating as much, being in bad moods, etc. For her, she stopped making a point to meet any of my physical needs (not just sex), words of support and appreciation stopped, etc. And over the past 6 or 7 years, where we once had very similar political views, she's done a complete 180, which has lead to a lot of fights.
Things still weren't that bad, then in November I had back surgery and was really restricted in what I could do for 6 weeks. It was then and shortly after that she started really withdrawing. I knew it. I saw it. I even asked her a few times if anything was wrong. Then BD day.
2 calls/messages to different lawyers today. Neither called back yet. lol
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
