I’m still so lost

[Pattnee5]

Ok back for a bit of advice. It makes no sense to me this whole H and our situation but I know it’s not my place to make sense of something. I still feel it’s some sort of midlife scenario when’re he feels old, tired, unsure of stuff. Anyway he’s been wanting to be around for dinner a bit(even offering to cook tonight as I am finally back at work). Obviously also in the mornings to organise kids for school and yesterday even came and bought me lunch. Often he comes and sits with me at the table. Or sits on the couch with a tea and makes small talk, smiles, flirts, hugs, still kissing me on the lips hello goodbye. Am I allowing the whole cake eating? There’s no intimacy now, no dropping the ILY or asking about R. Just responding, smiling, if he flirts smiling , validating where I need to, appreciating his help and thanking him etc. I generally have been pretty good sticking to it for the last few days, but it’s like he always wants to be here and be around us but not even the kids but be around me. He hasn’t sat this much with me in a very long time. Am I being completely daft and silly ? I am wondering if this is glimmers of him wanting to try and find his way back, or is it just cake eating where he wants the best of everything then disappears to sleep. Or is he trying to fall back in love? I don’t for a second believe he stopped loving me( the whole believe nothing) the way he looks at me touches me and how caring etc the love is still there just buried under all his issues. Anyway I have some social plans this weekend obviously I don’t invite him and have friends over so that’s fun. He may get FOMO and maybe not. Will be nice to doll myself up to a tee as well and feel good and look good etc. I am finding I am much more calm and at peace but just am so baffled by this behaviour. I guess I am allowing the behaviour because of hope but am keeping my poise and class and staying polite and not instigating, however when the man you love and the man you know loves you wants to hug you and kiss you and bring you coffee or make flirty comments of course I am going to smile and acknowledge. He certainly seeems so very different to the man that BD at Christmas and even the man that moved out.
Anyhow work today, some social gatherings this weekend and I am still smiling and calm