I hear you. I think I am somewhere in between. I do not dwell on what has happened as much. I do not think about ways to have him suffer or pay. I do feel in many ways I’ve let go of him. But if the universe is going to send suffering his way, then I’m grateful to it. Maybe I still have a long way to go, but at least it feels like I’ve come a long way.
What is more on my mind is the loss of my life. You know, the life that was the “plan” and where I thought it was going. There is some excitement in reinvention, but there is also a lot of frustration at having to begin anew and knowing that some of the things I was excited about are not going to happen. But I’m doing my best to embrace it and count my moments of gratitude each day. I think it will get even easier now that the pandemic is slowing and life is happening again. It was very hard to move forward when isolated and stuck alone. Traveling and new experiences are a big part of that discovery for me, so I am grateful for being able to do that right now.
It’s good to pop in on this board and see that you are still here…and I think your new role suits you well. You definitely have been a big part of my journey and your advice has meant so much to me. Thank you for stopping by with more support.
El
Me 52, H 56 T10 M7, 2nd MR for both 2 Step Sons (19 and 21) BD: Fall 2020 D finalized: July 2022 XH Married AP soon after D day.
