The bartender does not have to give them any footage because they are not law enforcement, nor do they have a warrant. He is within his rights to tell them no to their request. Also, placing that camera on top of his camera is pretty bold and not even asking to do so, well...that may not be in good favor and could be considered trespassing because they didn't have permission to install it on his property.
It's good that you are meeting with the domestic violence people because everything will be documented properly. If you haven't turned the camera over yet, be sure to that you have it with you when you meet with them as evidence.
I pray that things will settle down, but both of those nuts need to get a life. The stalking is way out of hand and it's time that someone call him on it.
As for the gf, she needs to stay the heck out of the situation.
Praying that things settle down for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
