Davis and Kat Sorry it has been so long but due to dramatic changes in life I have not been near the computer as much. W was a freeking mess after the internet issues two weeks ago. It all came crashing in again on Thursday of that week when after struggling to get our cell numbers changed she threatened to leave again. I finally just told her she had to leave. I didn't ask why, I just told her to pack up and go if that is what she felt she had to do. She said she was so unhappy that she couldn't bare it anymore. She told me he had been E-mailing her and begging her to return and since she was unhappy at home she had decided she would go back and see how life would be. I was strong and didn't cry as I helped her pack and then went out and started fixing the flat tire on the second car.
Her parents came over in the middle of things and asked what was going on. I told them to go talk to her but they could kind of tell. Her mom went in and talked to a silent daughter and finally gave up and went to mow the lawn after telling me I should prepare to go back to Montana. I started making plans to do such and called my mother and started the process.
After talking to my mom I went out and talked to my MIL. We ended up crying in each others arms. She told me she was going back to talk to her. I told her not to ask her to stay. I then called OM number and left a message saying that I had told her to go back and that he had better not hurt her or I would come after his ass. I then went to go and work on the car some more and my FIL came back and we talked. He went in, once again I told him not to try to convince her to stay, she would have to make that decision.
After playing with my son, talking to my mom, and calling my sister, I went into the house. W was on the couch, with MIL beside her and FIL beside them in the chair. ILs told me to sit down. I said I couldn't do it anymore and that she had to make her decision for herself. W told me to sit down and I said that this was getting old and started to leave. W then said please sit down and I did.
MIL asked why she wanted to go back and W said that she was miserable. MIL asked why she was miserable and W said she was tired of being pursued by other man and told that she should leave me for him since he was leaving his W. Of course these were lies and he always followed up with "you need to get rid of H (me) first." MIL asked "Do you love Chris (me)?" W said yes, but I have hurt him and I don't think I love him enough to work through his pain. I told her that was for me to decide and she said she had lied so much that she didn't know how to start over again. MIL asked if she wanted to try and W said yes. MIL asked what W didn't like about me. W said he is always in my business, he is so concerned with what I am doing and where I am going that I feel like he is my shadow. MIL asked what she liked about me. W replied that I was always there for her. I snapped a little by saying that I was to the point where I was tired of being there to get hurt all the time and it was getting hard to keep on getting hurt. I also said that I was never in her business before this incident. She agreed. She said she would stay. I told her that if she was just staying for our S then it was the wrong reasons. She said she was staying for us. I told her again that she needed to stay for herself. She said that is why she was staying and that she was sorry.
We packed up and prepared to go to our chiropractor appointments. On the way there she asked me "What do you want to know?" I didn't know what she was getting at and she said she would answer all of my questions that I had. I fired away and she answered questions correctly that I had previously asked her and she had lied about. She said it felt great to get the truth out. We both felt good. She said she wanted to kiss me and I told her that she should take her time. We got a message that our phones were ready to be changed. She started crying. She said she had been waiting in agony for this for so long. She said she hated OM so much. She said that he had lied to her and told her how bad of a person I was for controlling her and not just letting her have our son so she could leave and be with OM. I told her I would be a bad father if I just gave up our S and she agreed. I told her that OM had no idea what love was. Love was fighting for everything that you believed in until it was time to release the person to find out that their decisions were wrong. That is where I was that afternoon. She had to figure it out for herself.
To this date we have changed our cell numbers, she has officially quit her job (sent back her ID badges), and told OM that it was over and if he were to try to contact her she would file a restraining order and then pursue him on stalking charges. The wounds are slowly healing. She talks of the future and shows affection and love more often. She blocked his E-Mails (with me right there) she did forget to take some pictures and old E-Mails off and that was a tough moment, but we recovered and now I don't know her E-Mail password, but she has not checked it for five days. She also hasn't tried to call him. I am still a little leary, but I don't concern myself with it so much anymore. We have had great days together. Very few bad ones. I think she realized pain OM was putting her through, but of course I am still a little upset about the fact that she doesn't take accountability for affair. She just said that she would prevent it from happening by not being nice to other men anymore. She needs to know that she contributed to this problem.
W also stated that OM had left her 21 messages at one point in time begging her to come back. Some days he left 15-20 E-Mails. He sent text messages and harrassed her to no end at work. He was a predator and she was his prey. He was sick, but she let it get to that point. The E-Mails that I read were tough to deal with, she stated in some that she was ready to marry him as soon as I filed the divorce. Still red flags, but I think now that the contact has ended it is going to be easier for her. She seems happy for the first time in four months. Bedroom activity has returned and some forms of intimacy are coming back such as kisses, hugs, hand holding, and touching. I know we are still a long way from being out of the woods on this, but it is getting better. Thank you for your advice, hopefully in a year I can chalk this up as a Divorce Busted!
