T, I get what your are saying. I had similar thoughts during my situation. Here is the thing, DBing is about investing in yourself! Don't think of it as investing in the marriage. If saving your marriage comes along with the ride, then great! At that point you get decide whether or not you still want the marriage or not!
So just focus on you. Take all of the focus of her. You've been typing a lot of the right things, but then your last post makes me wonder if you really get DBing or not. The goal is to save Terapin, and to leave his WAW to figure out her own stuff for herself.
Makes sense. Mentally I"m in a pretty good place.
I think I have been focusing on me, at least outwardly. Last week she went for drinks after work with her boss for her boss's birthday. All I said was 'have a good time' when she left, and I never mentioned anything about it again. She asked to ride w/ me and son to his football game the other day (usually she doesn't go). I told her I'd be cooking out all day saturday and she asked if we could invite friends over. She's initiating conversations daily about family and work stuff. I just listen and validate. I haven't once talked about the relationship, I haven't been mean, in a bad mood, unhappy, etc. I basically go about my business. I could go out and GAL more often though, but it's difficult to find time. Plus, 90% of my friends are either married, have moved out of state, or dead.
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
