If she refuses to be an open book than the chances are very likely that she is still cheating. It comes down to a question of how much crap you are going to accept. I realize that you are trying your best to save this marriage and not break up the family but you cannot do it without the cooperation of your wife. Pleading with her to do so only makes you look unattractve abd weak. Right now it would seem that she is calling the shots and you are responding accordingly. Instead of the either way around. She needs to be told very calmly that you are unwilling to stay in a marriage in which she is showing unwillingness to earn back your trust and to do whatever is necessary to show you that she can be again a faithful and devoted wife and mother. She needs a reality check in which she sees that even though you love her you are not afraid to move on with or without her.
