Her comment about me seeing other women makes sense now. It wasn't like she's giving me a hall pass or anything. It was more like 'if we decide to go through with the D but still have to live together for a bit, I'd understand if you met someone else in that time'. Not that that makes it any better or worse.
I’d bet my left *** she’s definitely emotionally, but most likely physically, involved with another man.
Her guilt drove the “you would be free to see another woman” comment.
Even in your OP you said when she dropped the bomb she made a point of swearing there was no-one else. You know who feels compelled to mention that during bomb-drop - people who are in an emotional or physical affair.
Not only that - but she has proven past form with infidelity.
Time and time again on this site we see the same thing:
OP - bomb drop - but there’s no-one else. DB.com vets - there’s probably someone else. OP - no, there definitely isn’t DB.com vets - well okay, but you need to consider it possible OP - oh sh*t, I just found out there’s AP
She’s being nice because currently the pressure is off. She can still live with you while chasing another man. She doesn’t have to tell all her friends. And she is now facing the prospect of being able to tell everyone that the separation is a mutual decision.
Eating so much cake… No wonder she’s so happy!
Like DNJ said, keep your expectations of her nice behaviour and of a potential change in her position dialled to an absolute minimum.
Someone who wants back in asks for counselling, books counselling, apologises, and attempts to go above and beyond to repair some of the damage they have wreaked. She is doing none of those things.
Actions ALWAYS speak louder than words.
Can't say I disagree with any of this. Thanks.
Of course I suspect there's OM. And I'd think it would have to be someone she works with, cause she doesn't really go/do anything else. But I guess shy of hiring a private investigator I have no way of knowing. There's been nothing on her phone, email, etc, but again it's not hard to delete messages.
So with that being said, how do I put an end to this cake eating? I know, GAL, 180s, etc. But those are slow processes. If I go ahead and file for D, I may be the one looking like a dick in the eyes of family, friends, son, etc.
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
