The more you try to be a nice guy the more she will take advantage of you. If she wants to stay married than she needs to be completely honest with you. That means, no private email addresses, no private anything. It is up to her to earn back your trust. If she is not showing by her actions that she is focused on working on the marriage than you are fooling yourself to think that things will change. Unless she sees that you are truly serious about not accepting anymore of her nonsense with the OM she will continue to show disrespectful behaviour.
