I’m still so lost

[Pattnee5]

Thankyou to all of you. Makes sense.rings stay on because I am not done yet, and they come off for me when it’s over. To me they are of importance and I am not done with the marriage yet even thoughw he can take them off and on Willy nilly.
Thankyou for clarifying the ignoring vs detaching(disengaging). I def have alot of family and friends and support I am a very social person so I can fill my social needs without him. I’m up to Step 5 in experiment and monitor in DR. So far so good I set myself some goals. I’m thoroughly enjoying this book so much. Very eye opening. I also liked Steve’s approach of a date in my mind. I had a friend here for coffee this morning who was talking about one of her friends whose husband did something similar and walked out. She was a mess etc went through all the same roller coaster I did then decided on a date in mind of 6 months, treated him amicably and I guess a lot of GAL and they would occasionally dine together. At the 6 month mark she told him then and there he had to make a choice now and he decided he wanted to go home. And together now to this day 5 years later( I think they were of similar age when it happens to me and H) so I think hearing these really does help build my strength. I’m good today my emotions are in tact. My mind does buzz a lot from time to time but I am good😁 this forum is something I look forward to every day. I’ll keep reading the book, I also have DB on kindle and will read that too. Knowledge is power and I keep thinking what DnJ said about Believing none of what he says and half of what he does. This is really something I keep focusing on each time I think back to hurtful things that he said in the last few months.
So I think for now I am giving my 6 month mark since moving out as mid September. At that point I’ll see how I am feeling and decide if I bring it up or if I need more time.
I’ll need to keep positing here guys I am sorry I kinda need someone to hold my hand through this and make sure I’m on the right path and doing things right.
For now I am reading DR, trying not to initiate anything, staying well clear of the “I love you” and let’s have relationship talks, I’ll organise my life around me and the kids and do stuff with them when I’m up and about again( and not include or invite him), organised a few social gatherings too coming up and once I recover I am going to start running again and see if I can train for a half marathon by october( I’ve done it before in a 12 week period so I’m sure I can do it again)
I’ve always been a super fit and active person and I tell you one positive in this was the weight loss( the “husband leaves you” diet as I tell my friends). I think he has always been a bit jealous of me and my positive and determined mindset he always said he was a bit jealous. I guess the age thing may now be playing on his mind alot (me 42 him 48) 🤷🏼‍♀️
Thankyou all so much for your help let me know any other tips. Should I read the Solo Partner??
My next book on my nightstand is away from everything marriage and is David Goggins “can’t hurt me”
So far I have my relationship goals and now have my own personal goals. Today I feel good🥲