Detach

[JosephS]

Honestly, that was awesome to read! Keep that focus elsewhere. Remember, if this helps, as long as the focus isn’t on her you can’t say or do anything to hurt your chances of reconciling. Best of all, after some time passes, your wife will wonder why the focus hasn’t been on her.

Keep the number of conversations and the time of them to a bare minimum. No chit chat, get to business and than get off the phone. If it’s not an immediate emergency than don’t be immediately available!

I understand how hard this is. I remember vividly how I felt. I also know the other side. Not the divorced moved on side, but the side that knows I was going to make it regardless the whole time. The side that just gave in and realized before I was in any other relationship, my marriage or a new one, I needed to be in relationship with myself. GAL, whatever that means for you. Make a new friend or two. Reach out to an old friend or two. You are more than a parent, so when you GAL include non family members. Set good healthy boundaries, and most of all, worry about what you can control and don’t stress about what you can’t. You can not control what your spouse thinks, says, feels, or wants in any moment. You can control how you react, or more often than not, not react to her or life in general.

There is the other side of this, whatever that looks like. Even if you remain married and you live happily ever after, it won’t be the “same” marriage with the “same” people if that makes sense. And since you can only control what you do, right now becoming the best you, you can be is priority number one.