I’m still so lost

[Pattnee5]

I too hope it isn’t a MLC and just a case of life was [censored] and something needed to change to work himself and his feelings out. It certainly is tough to navigate.
So I don’t pull away but I detach. Do I let him come in and out of the house to bring me coffee and help with the kids and even cook dinner or is that a bit of “best of both worlds?” I need to keep re reading the detachment side of things. I want to be there and support him but I also don’t want to be dragged down by whatever his issues are right now. I don’t even think he knows. And I don’t even know if he is just doing this to “let me down slowly” it’s so hard to get anything deep out of him. Why keep coming around and seeing me and trying to help and hug me. He said it’s because he cares but I don’t buy it. There’s love there deep down there’s something
I think that’s a very valid point to not speak about anything heavy either.
I have a lot of reading to do. It’s hard because he’s been gone for the house for a month and nothing feels easier. He told me on Dec he “thinks” he wants to separate and doesn’t love me and still nothing has healed. I kinda get the feeling he has set his mind to this and just wants to see it throufh because he has made up his mind and thinks it’s right
I’ve known him all my life I know in my heart there is still love there just buried by emotions and whatever else is going on.it’s so hard to understand why he can’t see it and why he doesn’t want to let himself feel again. I did tell him if we are over for good then this is not how it stays I can’t have him in my life because I will need to stop loving him. This was when he left, I feel like all I do is break the rules.
It’s so hard I never feel like it gets easier. My DR book just arrived so I will dive into that tonight. I really need to work on detaching how hard is it to detach from your soulmate