My mind has been very chatty this weekend and emotions have got the better of me. I've had strong urges to message him and tell him how cruel he has been.
Emotions are fleeting. Glad you chose a difference path.
Originally Posted by MA1970
I feel I'm wavering with whether I have the resilience to keep going with trying to be a lighthouse.
For what’s worth, I always got the sense you have a high degree of resiliency.
Do or do not. There is no try.
Trying is tiresome. Just be.
Originally Posted by MA1970
I know detaching is the key but when does this get easier? 8 weeks on Tuesday since BD. Feels like a lifetime!
Yes, the days do seem to go by so very slowly at times. Like Steve said, everyone’s timelines are different.
We all become healed and whole in time. There is not a formula to tell when that will be. Grief takes as long as it takes. Right up until the moment it’s over.
As for easier. Ask yourself, are these present days easier than the ones right after bomb drop? Overall, each day, each week, that goes by is easier than the preceding one. Each step along our journey is cumulative. They summate.
I’m coming up on seven years post BD. There was a time when I was so mired in the bog of my situation, I could never see myself again feeling like I now do. I knew, well I more hoped, I’d get through it and find happiness again. But for a while, I felt very differently.
How long was that while? I’m not sure. Those cumulative days do reach a tipping point, a shift of one’s perspective. I know it happens, I’m living it, yet I don’t recall a specific moment. The delimitation between the stages of our journey are rather nebulous.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
