Most people "monkey branch". They make sure they have a good hold on the new person before they let go of the current person. Those of us that arrive here are the ones that got let go of.
Secrete affairs are very addicting for the people involved. Part of the allure is the secrecy.
I see comments above say "dating"...from my observations, I personally believe that word should be replaced with "having sex".
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Well, then she might be pretty deep with OP. I see no coming backing after this latest statement.
Actually, my friends are furious.
You see no coming back? So you're pulling the plug?
Usually WASs do things like this for a specific purpose. Could be she's lying to OM about how far along the divorce/separation process is. She did this to prove it to him.
Another reason most WASs date before filing is because it's likely the OP is also married. And not ready to leave their spouse due to being unsure of them permanence of the affair.
Plus there are kids and extended family to think about. It's all very complicated.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Well, then she might be pretty deep with OP. I see no coming backing after this latest statement.
Actually, my friends are furious.
You see no coming back? So you're pulling the plug?
Usually WASs do things like this for a specific purpose. Could be she's lying to OM about how far along the divorce/separation process is. She did this to prove it to him.
Another reason most WASs date before filing is because it's likely the OP is also married. And not ready to leave their spouse due to being unsure of them permanence of the affair.
Plus there are kids and extended family to think about. It's all very complicated.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Most people "monkey branch". They make sure they have a good hold on the new person before they let go of the current person. Those of us that arrive here are the ones that got let go of.
But is this actually the case of most divorces or just this forum specifically?
Originally Posted by SteveLW
You see no coming back? So you're pulling the plug?
Usually WASs do things like this for a specific purpose. Could be she's lying to OM about how far along the divorce/separation process is. She did this to prove it to him.
Another reason most WASs date before filing is because it's likely the OP is also married. And not ready to leave their spouse due to being unsure of them permanence of the affair.
Plus there are kids and extended family to think about. It's all very complicated.
Unfortunately, I can not pull the plug yet according to our laws. There are certain restrictions to prevent divorce immediately after marriage. Unless cheating can be proven.
I do agree that this seems like specific purpose. All logic supports this. In our case, we have no kids, but my only suspect for OP is a guy in marriage with 2 kids. As I understand, he is also divorcing. There are no confirmed facts, just pure speculation based on scouting done by my female friends.
I doubt that there can be a successful relationship between her and that suspected OP as there is a significant year gap.
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Also, I f'ked up just now. Went to her parents house to pick my remaining things. Her dad opened the door and thought "this is the last time I see him" went through my mind. I thanked her parents as they were always good and friendly towards me. As I said my words, tears started pouring from my eyes. Not because of our situation with wife, but because I generally will miss her family. It was tough to say that goodbye, but I wanted to thank them for everything from the bottom of my heart.
I could see some tears in their eyes as well and they repeatedly said: "let's hope this is not the last time". They always respected me and considered me as a good guy from my nature and it's always tough to lose good people.
Mutual respect and love from both sides, but given their status in her life I probably went to far with my vulnerability. At least, I got to really show my appreciation and deep consideration for their efforts towards me over the years.
Everything ended with smiles and positive note. Even they said that I deserve someone who would be good to me and give me lots of love. I went out smiling and looking positively towards the next chapter.
How often do you see WAW coming back prior or after divorce? Especially if the "new life" does not go as planned?
I’m going to be completely honest with you. Your W has given you a gift by pulling the plug early. She in her mind made a big mistake and is not coming back. It doesn’t feel like it now but you are way better off dealing with this now then 15 years down the road when you have 3 kids a mortgage and she is full of resentment. Take some time and fix what you did wrong in the relationship. I see some self righteousness in your posts. That’s a good place to start. Trust me some day you will thank her.
How often do you see WAW coming back prior or after divorce? Especially if the "new life" does not go as planned?
I’m going to be completely honest with you. Your W has given you a gift by pulling the plug early. She in her mind made a big mistake and is not coming back. It doesn’t feel like it now but you are way better off dealing with this now then 15 years down the road when you have 3 kids a mortgage and she is full of resentment. Take some time and fix what you did wrong in the relationship. I see some self righteousness in your posts. That’s a good place to start. Trust me some day you will thank her.
I am asking because it would probably be more healthy if she did not try to comeback. However, every single friend or family member is saying: "just wait, she will come back when it's too late".
Could you elaborate how self righteousness is a good start? It probably killed this relationship.
Yes friends and family members don’t want to see you in pain so to ease the pain they say “ she’ll be begging to comeback etc”. It’s very common script. Could it happen? Yes. Plenty of statistics available on the internet.
Self righteousness is a very unattractive trait and I see it in some of your posts. This may be a good place to start. Maybe you disagree? What do you think happened that made your W want to terminate the marriage less then a year?
