I have been working to not be “nice”. So 180 is I am not offering to help her and her M with stuff they aren’t looking for help with. Not trying to fix things. And I’m not being available generally. And I’m not going over there. Now if they ask for help with something or if they are in need (just like if anyone - like for example my neighbor - is in need), I want to be kind, strong, helpful and generous within my means.
But I need to make sure I am looking after myself, my home and our family. And I am not presenting a “nice guy” front to wife where anything goes and I’m needy. We own our home and assets together. If she would like something or wants to use a pot or needs a bed and I don’t need it she can have it. I have not given her our marital bed. I am in our home, in our bedroom and in our bed and I’m looking after our home.
I have moved her stuff out and she has been making sincere efforts to work together with me on our S’s needs. And I express my appreciation to her for ways that she is cooperating.
